This one semester in high school, I got super depressed. I was taking some tough classes that made me anxious, and the doom and gloom cold weather outside just made me want to sleep all day long. I eventually got over it the next year, and life went on.
Flash forward to when I got to college freshman year. I felt like I was on top of the world. I was an adult and was finally free to do what I wanted. I had a fantastic friend group and was a part of some great organizations. My grades were fantastic and I was in a sorority with some of the best women I've ever met. Sure there were nights of procrastination-induced stress and boy problems and roommate drama, but the good far outweighed the bad.
When summer hit, I was sad to leave. All the good nights filled with trips to City Cafe and ending up in random apartments and being wild would have to wait a whole three months. I was anxious to get back to school, and more excited than ever when I did. I had three incredible roommates, started dating the sweetest guy, and had a great internship with College Fashionista.
Somehow along the way, things started going wrong. Bye the second semester I had taken on my sorority's PR chair, which was in the process of getting a facelift. I was not, as I hoped, beautifying social media accounts and websites, but managing a team of people assigned to do it for me and taking the heat when something went wrong. The lack of vitamin D and cold weather caused me to sink to depression. Those 15 pounds I lost freshman year came back with a vengeance My classes were tougher and became not a question of how early I had to leave to get there on time but whether or not I was going at all, which I often chose not to. My grades sank beyond redemption, and I started sleeping an average of 12-14 hours a day.
I got my first panic attack on February 15th, the day after Valentine's Day, a day on which two of my professors decided would be excellent for exams. I was horribly prepared and couldn't even finish the first one due to some pretty crippling anxiety. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder that afternoon.
It's been a long road since then. I eventually was forced to quit the PR Position due to the stress it brought along with the long hours spent working on it that I desperately needed for studying. I left UTC this past semester with my tail between my legs and the worst GPA I've ever had.
I've changed my major to dental hygiene, because what in the world could be more calming and routine than working at a dentist's office. I've started exercising regularly again, something I gave up in January when everything started. I love waking up early because it means I'm not only super-productive during the day, but I also fall asleep before getting too anxious, something that seems to happen often in the wee hours of the morning when I'm tired.
I'm still dating that super sweet guy and he's been the best supporter, along with the roomies I had this past year and a really forgiving mom who understands that sometimes people have bad semesters. I get lots of sunshine on a regular basis since that super sweet guy's mom has a super-sweet pool. I still get anxious a lot, but I've become able to separate times when I should be on my toes about something from times when I start letting little things get the best of me. It's been a challenging year, but I'm really excited to see what the second half of 2016 has to offer.
My name's Vikka. I'm a Nashville fashion and lifestyle blogger. I post a lot of fashion, recipes, and home tips and tricks!
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