Memorial Day and Talking about Fulfillment

Happy Memorial Day, everyone! I'm currently in Nashville with my family, and we all went to church together yesterday! I really, really loved the message from yesterday's service and I thought I would share it with you all, and what I really got out of it, as a 20-something-year-old.

So the name of the sermon was called "Finish Well" and it talked all about what you will do with your life, and how you will finish. The sermon came from the second book of Timothy, verse  seven. It says, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept my faith." This verse is quoting Paul, as he shares that he truly spent every moment of his life doing what he set out to do: share the Gospel. 

For some reason, this message really resonated with me. With all the school shootings that have been going on these past couple of months, I saw a video on Facebook this past week of high school students sharing what they would never get to do if they were killed in a school shooting. A girl said she would never have her first kiss, a guy shared that he would never have kids. It left this message that people who die young live un-fulfilled lives. I have this fear often. I'll die in a car crash or a school shooting or just from some random disease, and my life will be left un-finished.

I find myself so often living in the future. I get in the mode of thinking that when I graduate, then my life will really start. Or when I get my first job. Or when I get married. Then I'll start traveling more. Then I'll take the blog full-time. Then I'll go to church and become a better Christian. Then I'll start living the way I really want to. How sad is that?? I think I felt the same way when I was in high school. When I get to college, then I'll be an adult and I'll do everything I want to do! And truthfully, I have done a lot of the stuff I wanted to do at the time. But I was so constantly living and dreaming for the future that I feel like I wasn't very good at enjoying the present.

If I died tomorrow, would I really feel like Paul, and say that my life was fulfilled? I feel that I won't because there are so many things I feel like I have to have to life a fulfilled life, and I hate that! It's not only so toxic to think this way, as it suggests that people who die young die before their life should have "finished" but it's also a constant source of anxiety for me. 

So, I guess, what I'm really trying to say here is this: I want to start living in the moment and appreciating the present for what it is. I don't want to believe at any point that, because I'm young and haven't done everything some people have, that I'm not living a fulfilled life. I think that we have this idealized list of things that, when added together, create a fulfilled life, and I just don't want to believe in that! No two lives are the exact same, and I don't want to feel shorted by God because my life looks differently than someone else's life. I'm not sure how, exactly all this relates to Memorial Day, but I just felt really moved to share. Have a great Memorial Day, everyone! I'll be hanging out by the pool then driving back home in that ~fantastic~ Memorial Day traffic, haha!

Much Love,
​Vikka